The Scene: The front steps of the

NotSoSoccerMom Corporate Offices

Allie Grace, 11:  "Mom, are you coming to my press conference? Can I borrow your microphone?  How do you spell ‘conference'?  Do you know how to get ahold of Matt Lauer?  Mom, remember the time I..."

NotSoSoccerMom: "Why are you holding a press conference? Who kind of a hair-brain holds a press conference on their front steps?" Mutters..."Stole my idea... little copycat. I was going to hold a press conference here later about Lancome's new mascara & Cinco De Mayo Awareness."

Allie Grace: "Remember the time I vowed I'd NEVER ask for anything ever again if you got me that Rainbow Brite backpack? Well, I'm still gonna ask you for stuff... What's for dinner?  Can Jane come over?  But, hey LOOK at this cool new backpack. It's called an ISafe bag. Are you coming to my press conference about it?"

NotSoSoccerMom: "It's like an Ipod or an Ipad or an ITouch?   Plays music, has a bunch of buttons & features I don't intend to use since I never read the directions?"

Allie Grace:   "Mommm-uh,  seriously!   This is a patented bag with a built-in alarm. You pull this cord here if you are bullied or scared. It's like having a bodyguard with you all the time. The alarm goes off to scare away predators.  Is that like a predicate? What IS for dinner?   Anyway, the ISafe bags are all over the news."

Pulls cord. Beeping noise begins. Baby Patrick scatters upstairs. Allie Grace re-inserts the cord to make beeping stop.

NotSoSoccerMom: "Hey that is neat!  Let me see how that works."

Pulls cord again. Tigger the cat runs away. Samantha, age 8 saunters by.  Allie Grace pulls the activation cord again and the panic alarm sounds some more.  Samantha goes back inside.

Allie Grace: "Everyone should have one. Don't you think, Mom?   Can we go for ice cream? How bout pizza for dinner?  Can we go to Kohl's RIGHT NOw and get new school shoes?  Can I make cookies? What time is Daddy getting home?  If a cow and a buffalo mate, would it be called a cowalo? Have you seen my~?"

NotSoSoccerMom grabs the backpack and pulls the cord and hopes it also scares away pre-teens with too many questions....

Jill

Who's working for ya, people?  The NotSoSoccerMom bringing you this very cool safety item, which, by the way, is at a nice price.

Check out the ISafe bags at www.Isafebags.com

In the meantime, I'll keep doing my own market research on more non-traditional uses for it, like warding off messy toddlers and flatulent cats.

New hypothesis:  if you add a recorder beat and maybe some maracas, you might be able to create an interesting Zumba routine?

http://www.isafebags.com/@home.asp

This week, the NotSoSoccerMom hosted Phillip Bloch! You know him from --- well everywhere! He's with me to talk fashion and his new book The Shopping Diet

Premiere Fashion Stylist Phillip Bloch told us tips on how to look Dynasty Fabulous in a Beverly Hillbillies economy!

He's the man responsible for THIS look so we can learn a lot from him!

Get yours soon at!

http://www.amazon.com/Shopping-Diet-Spend-Less-More/dp/1439110263/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1281311063&sr=8-1

Don't miss this podcast! 

Max Meisel of Bravo's Ginormous Hit Show "Bethenny Getting

 Married" (question mark).

He's Bethenny's Personal Assitant, Under Wear Picker-Outer and Go-To

 Guy.  He and Jason have man-love...so it's okay.   But he's not just a

 cute face. Max is a Syracuse Grad, stand up comic, 2 time Big East All

Academic Team and nice guy.

"It's definitely a different world for me, but something I was willing to

 take a crack at," Meisel told the Hartford Courant, upon landing the job.

 http://toginet.com/podcasts/notsosoccermom/NotSoSoccerMomLIVE_2010-07-27.mp3?type=showpage

Look at the cute Bravo-lebrity Jill has today! 

Max Meisel of Bravo's Ginormous Hit Show "Bethenny Getting Married" (question mark).

He's Bethenny's Personal Assitant, Under Wear Picker-Outer and Go-To Guy.  He and Jason have man-love...so it's okay.   But he's not just a cute face. Max is a Syracuse Grad, stand up comic, 2 time Big East All Academic Team and nice guy.

"It's definitely a different world for me, but something I was willing to take a crack at," Meisel told the Hartford Courant, upon landing the job.

BUT~~~~ Thank you so much for the actual votes!!! The NotSoSoccerMom finished in the top 13% and received great feedback. Moreover, a heartfelt thanks to you, my readers and friends, for the Votes of Confidence!

I made some cool friends with some of the other Oprah's Next TalkShow Host entrants, too. The fabulous Kyle Collins of Atlanta and French-born Lilou Mace of Chicago (her YouTube Channel has 6million views!) came on my radio show (Listen to the 6/29/10 NotSoSoccerMom Show on Toginet.com). Also, I met Cyrus Webb of ConversationsLive. On July 28th, I will be his featured guest. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/conversationslive

I enjoyed Facebook friending and practicing my spanish with fellow Oprah Entrant Erika from Puerto Rico. And Rob, "The Cooking Dad" who has developed his on show on YouTube has offered to mentor on how to go bigger with our NotSoSoccerMom & Family talkshow vibe. Yes- my vision is to take our same crazy-family fun from the tryout video and Vlogs and keep on keeping on.

How will I do this, you ask? Why of course, by puting myself in glamorous and intriguing situations... ahem... like I always do.... cough.

Why, AT THIS VERY MOMENT, I am embedded, Sebastian Junger-like.... in and overpacked car... on a 13 hour ride....drinking gas station cappucino (I told you I'm roughing it.)

But wait- there's more:........WITH 4 kids....one of whom woke up with her eyes crusted shut and a lovely cough....two of whom are fighting over the headphones for the DVD player (Sidebar: We have 2 sets and 4 kids. You do the math: SOMEONE is stuck listening to mommy and daddy fight over the music. Daddy insists on Springsteen and Momma wil simply barf if she hears one more hard-streets-growing up in Jersey-blue collar-memories song from someone with a private plane & 6 homes... ELO's Greatest Hits,anyone?)

Then there's Patrick. Fresh off a stint sleeping in a 1970's hotel-loaner crib barred in the bathroom of a Hampton Inn off Exit I Have No Ideain TooFarFromOurDestination, Virginia, he's in his carseat alternately screaming bloody murder, throwing Teddy Grahams and pouring the milk from his sippy cup in to his own lap.

It's okay. We only have 5 hours to go...

Oh, and where are we going?
Jill
WELL OBVIOUSLY WE ARE NOT GOING TO THE EAST COAST'S LARGEST CHROME SHOP since Jerry JUST PASSED THE EXIT
....jeesh....

Dance Nationals for the girls is where we're headed. (Cue the sequins and jazz hands.) Should be good material, people. Stay Tuned!

Was the band My Chemical Romance on to something with their 2007 songTeenagers?

They said all teenagers scare the living sh*$ out of me

Before you classify the lyric as trite, you should know the album on which this song was featured was nominated for a Grammy for Best Boxed Or Special Limited Edition Package.  I did not have time to research what that means exactly… (as today is the first day of Summer 2010 and my children will soon be singing the “I’m Bored” aria from the opera, “What Are We Doing Today? We Never Get To Do Anything!”. To me, winning a Grammy For Best Boxed or Special Edition Package sounds like saying to a Chef,  ”The veal was fine, but the plates you served it on where SOOOOO pretty!”  However, I’d take a Grammy for anything so I shouldn’t scoff.  (2011 Grammys: “And the award for Best Pretend Name of an Album and Featured Musical Piece In a Blog To Provide Humour and Poke Fun At Her Children Goes To….Jill”  {crowd goes wild} )

But I digress. What’s new?

Working as  a Personal Trainer at the gym, I get to know lots of teens.  Despite the fact that I do love My Chemical Romance’s song, I am actually impressed with the kids.  I had a lovely chat with Katharine from the Lacrosse team about her love of Broadway.  She has seen Spring Awakening six times (!) Inspiring to see a young person with love of culture.

Ellen LISTENED in Science class; (knew the difference between adduction and abduction & supinating and pronating). Jillian makes straight A’s and has her pick of Ivy League schools.  Kylie has gotten the majority of her Lacrosse team in to Zumba.  Juliana works full-time & LOVES working out. Jordan even came to the gym to get her workout in at 8am last week before one of her finals. Even the wrestler boys hold the door for adults.  (And you know how WRESTLERS are~ situated somewhere  on the Human Evolution scale between primordial ooze and Cro-Magnan Man…..((((smile and wave to my cute husband, the former wrestler)))))

Tomorrow’s radio guest is Gabby Londe, who became a YouTube sensation with her simple musings and made “Where’s the Chaptsick?” a household phrase for the 20 and under crowd.  In my communications with her thus far she seems a very nice, comfortable-in-her-own-skin, positive person.  I am looking forward to chatting with her even more now.

Sure, they drive too fast, listen to the music too loudly, text incessantly, scream OMG every two seconds… but a lot of adults that do that, too.

Teens, you might win me over yet.

Jill

Only six MILLION views, countless knock-offs, people are downloading ringtones of this. …

Here’s Gabby, a graduate of Joplin High School in Missouri with her original song.

Remember to read more from Jill at www.NotSoSoccerMom.com

6/15 We welcomed Debra Rubin-Roberts of MommyMakeup.com

How 13 became 6!

Award-winning makeup artist and New York City Mom, Debra Rubin-Roberts, created Mommy Makeup to simplify the busy woman's daily beauty routine. She had her "light bulb moment" about a new makeup line almost immediately after giving birth. She realized she no longer had time to apply 13 individual items just to get a basic polished look. And unscrewing and screwing caps of product after product was eating up valuable time. She needed makeup that was quick and easy to apply — and if she needed it, surely other women did too! After 2 and a half years of development those 13 individual products became 6 multi-tasking products and her  brainstorm  MOMMY MAKEUP became a reality! Now you too can "Look Divine in Half the Time" with Mommy Makeup!Debra has over 15 years of experience as a professional makeup artist and has worked with some of the best in the cosmetic industry, including Bobbi Brown, Prescriptives , Laura Mercier, Nars, Smashbox, and Estee Lauder. Her work has been featured in various publications including The Daily News, Avenue Magazine, and Manhattan Bride Magazine. Her clients have included women (and a few men) of every ethnicity. Debra has worked on studio shoots, fashion shows (including "7th on 6th"), video and television. Her work has appeared on "60 Minutes" and "CBS Sunday Morning". You may have seen her on E! Entertainment Network and "The Maury Povich Show". In addition to being the founder of Mommy Makeup, Debra is still a working makeup artist as well, but her most favorite thing is being Jeremy's wife and Daisy & Riley's mom!

Also, today Rob Shields, Casual Economist, Author and Sportswriter

Make sure to listen to the podcast of

Tuesday May25th show!  Jill hosted her show

LIVE from the  Atlantisin the Bahamas! 

Her guest was Gina Stipo, Italian Chef of EccoLaCucina.com

Ecco La Cucina is an Italian cooking school offering hands-on cooking classes near Siena in Tuscany. Choose from a single day Tuscan cooking class, multiple days cooking classes or a weeklong culinary vacation tour - each will provide you with insights to this beautiful, rich culture.

Tuesday 5/18, NotSoSoccerMom welcomed American Idol Scott MacIntyre and his mom, Carole. 

 Find Scott's new album Heartstrings on Itunes! 

And American Idol reigning champ Kris Allen's Dad, Neil called in to chat, too. 

Recall a blog entry from the recent

past as we delve into MY kids’ own musical

prowess…. ahem….

(I don’t know how to insert music but pretend like that dreamy noise takes you back in time… woooosh woooosh, harps and stuff)

I have always felt deep down that my children would be musical prodigies. The day has come. Allie Grace is playing the recorder. FINALLY! I’ve only spent the last year hoping there was a good recorder program in our new town. I LIVE to go to the local music shop and plunk down $13 for that well-crafted piece of plastic that will provide us hours of beautiful music and a lifetime of memories.

Being the recorder aficionado that I am ( trained in the Suzuki method, natch), I was pleased to learn they b egan with the basic “Hot Cross Buns.” I, too, have been known to tickle the plastic back in the day at Mari Sandoz Elementary. This was after my short-lived, yet sparkling, career playing the base maracas.

Leaping boldly from ”Hot Cross Buns“, Allie Grace progressed quickly to the more tricky pieces from the Barney Movement: “It’s Raining, It’s pouring“, “Mary Had a Little Lamb” and “Long Legged Sailor.” Of course, she killed. And then, with the foundation firmly in place, it’s time for the classics; Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy“. Such sweeping crescendos. Such rich melodies. The way her little lips meet with the plastic and those 3 nimble fingers work the holes. Breathtaking. As my favorite ALL-TIME piece of music, I often play ”Ode to Joy” (sometimes the whole movement, sometimes just the Chorale) around the house on my triangle so it’s no coincidence that she excelled right off.

Tonight she came ready to impress with Claire De Lune. However, while practicing with her, as I so look forward to each eve, I noticed there was no composer listed in the Songbook. Gasp. What? It says “French Folk Song” in the book instead of Claude DeBussy.

Now JUST WHAT IF her big recorder career doesn’t take off? Just say she DOESN’T get accepted into Julliard on a recorder scholarship and DOESN’T get to play the recorder (“Practice, Practice, Practice”) at Carnegie Hall. Jerry and I are already saving up for a special custom made Stradivarius recorder. What if her recorder dreams don’t pan out even with all the great recorder gigs out there for talented musicians? And she doesn’t even know who composed Au Claire De Lune??? What if, instead of forming a famous All-Girl Four Recorder band, she ends up on Jeopardy and the $2000 Double Jeopardy Answer just happens to be “He composed Claire De Lune” and she makes it a true daily double and says, “Who is ‘French folk song’?!!!”

Jill

 

Here I am rocking out an air finger cymbal solo.

My maracas and glockenspiel are all tuned up. I hope Scott, his mom Carole and Season 5 alum Becky O’Donohue are ready to jam with me.   1pm EST Tuesday May 18 on Toginet.com !  Call 877-864-4869 to join the fun.

5/11 Jill had Cortney Novogratz of

Bravo's 9 By Design!  

Find their book Downtown Chic at Amazon.com 

http://amzn.com/0847831736

Sure, they may be written up in magazines, have their own reality show, be gorgeous hipsters that create eclectic spaces, but would they be able to pass this basic “I Speak Fluent Realtor” NotSoSoccerMom Vocabulary quiz?

Vocab words on left, definition on the right….

“Well-appointed“– only nice house in the neighborhood

“Great curb appeal“–inside stinks

“Potential” or ”Investment”– fuggedaboutit

“Once in a lifetime opportunity” — RUN!

“ move-in condition“– at least we don’t THINK there’s mice

“ immaculate“– ugly colors and/or wallpaper inside

“mini-estate“– the taxes will kill you

“  >Eat In Kitchen“— room for one barstool

They’ve published a the book Downtown Chic, run the successful Sixx Design firm and recently decorated the posh Jersey Shore hotel, Bungalow.  But are they familiar with the Tuscan McDonald’s Palette (my family room looks like catsup and mustard waged a war… and the Target rug won).  Are they aware of the motif Jaclyn Smith for WalMart Meets 1988 Long Island Rec Room? Will I need to take it back to basics with them and explain why every home needs a collection fake bamboo trees? Where do they stand on TV trays and rooster statues?   Do they feel that a pile of dirty diapers can be viewed as ‘art’?

Jill

Tune in tomorrow to Toginet.com at 1pm EST for the answers to these questions and MORE with the Novogratz’ of Bravo’s 9 By Design.

Let’s see if they take want to collaborate on my new book  ”Christmas on a Budget: Decorate for the Holidays With Three Rolls of Duct Tape & A Box of Kleenex.”

i’ve had several jobs. As the line from Wayne’s World goes, “I have an extensive collection of nametags and hairnets.”   From working at Dairy Queen in high school, to starting full time radio advertising sales a few months before I graduated from college to pharmaceutical sales, trying to peddle Arbonne, becoming a certified Personal Trainer to my current post as Triscuit Afficionado &Famous Internet Author /Weblebrity (WHAT??? that’s a job!).

I became a Mother 12.5 years ago.  And then again 11.5 years ago.  And again 8 years ago. Then I took a hiatus. Then, 17 months ago, God graced me with another Mother Moment.

It’s the most hard job. I rarely get days off.  I have not received a pay raise in years.  Sometimes my underlings are un-coachable.  But it’s the BEST JOB EVER.

I get to be a psychologist, referee, milk-cow, waste-management coordinator, personal chef, dermatologist (the older ones are getting blackheads and I LOVE to clean some pores!), comedienne (trying out jokes on the kids. They laugh even when I’m not funny.), hair-stylist, decorator, maid, grammar coach, personal shopper, nurse, dentist, cheerleader, friend, spiritual guide, mentor, Life Coach, laundress & warden.

A prayer for all Mothers (or people who ‘mother’):

May all Mother’s find joy in their children. May God guide them in guiding the next generation back to the small niceties~ hold a door, help an older person, let someone in in traffic.

The Lord Hear Our Prayer!

I would not be the “NotSoSoccerMom” without these four little people.   I am honored to be their mom. I am honored to be the wife of their dad.

“Jill, why so serious? What, are you hormonal? Was Sephora sold out of airbrush makeup systems? Did you watch ‘UP!’ again? Did the deli run out of Diet Dr. Pepper?”

Dont’ worry! We now return to your regular NotSoSoccerMom frivolity. Follow along right here this week when I do a Real Housewives of NJ rant (WHY can Teresa not grasp the use of the English Language?), interview 9 By Design’s Bob and Cortney (Tuesday’s radio show), and review tons of new makeup-y items!

To celebrate Designer of the patented SlimSuit,  Carol Wior, is offering NotSoSoccerMom listeners 50% off regularly priced items at  

http://www.CelebrityOnAir.com

Use the code "JillH"

Look at the science behind building a swimsuit! Who knew? 

This Tuesday, I welcomed multiple marathon veteran Alice Stewart. In addition to her passion for running, Alice is an Emmy Award-winning journalist and national political commentator who has appeared on Fox News, CNN, and MSNBC.   She is a frequent contributor to the Fox Forum and works as a media consultant for numerous conservative groups and was an advisor during the 2008 presidential campaign.

Here's Alice helping to train Governor Mike Huckabee in 2006

Also, Dancing With Stars re-cap, my Ramona from NY Real Housewives rant and a visit from Captain TimeManagement~ aka my sweet husband Jerry on HIS Boston Marathon run...

He can run pretty fast but it takes 35 minutes to get through the security checkpoint...go figure...

Captain TimeManagement pictured below during his second full marathon in 2002.  This Monday's Boston running will be his 16th.

Friends of the Show & Favorite Things: 

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/marydrake

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/robertbarrett

http://www.cafepress.com/notsosoccermom

(ALL proceeds from sales of Team Mary and Team Robert shirts go toward they’re respective healthcare funds)

http://www.DavidWebbonline.com/

David Webb-Tea Party 365 Co-Founder  appeared on the show 4/13

http://www.karith.com/

Karith Foster was featured on the NotSoSoccerMom radio show 2/10/10

http://www.toginet.com/shows/

Our Radio group, the HerInsight Network

ttp://www.etiquettesaintlouis.com/

Melenie of Etiquette Saint Louis is a returning guest

http://www.emperorsoldclothes.blogspot.com/

Fashion designer/ blogger Eric Gaskins was featured on 3/10/10

http://www.wakeupontime.com

Cathy Beggan, CEO of Rise-N-Shine Products shared about her line on 2/17/10

http://www.ridgefieldophthamology.com

Dr. Christie Coates answered Botox ?’s on 2/17/10

http://www.DrSterry.com

Dr. Thomas Sterry discussed facial fillers & celeb ‘work’ on 3/10/10

http://www.RippedUSA.com

http://www.brazilianbootyworkout.com

Fernanda Rocha of the O.C. discussed fitness on 3/16/10

http://www.DuffyforCongress.com

Sean Duffy, R Wisconsin on his bid for Congress appeared on 3/23/10

http://www.Lulupowers.com

Entertainment Guru and celebrity caterer Lulu Powers appears on 3/30/10

Gotta love R.G. Such material he provides me.....

Jill

And of course, my forthcoming book— which I WILL finish someday soon! I hope this title isn’t already taken?!

Tuesday 4/13,  welcomed David Webb.

David has a distinguished history with over 15 years of entertaining and informing the public; a blend of experience as a Local & Syndicated Talk Show Host, Music On-Air Personality, Producer, Assistant Program Director and Promotion Director. 

A television and radio commentator, David has appeared and been featured on radio and TV nationally - CBS, NBC, ABC, Fox News Network, Fox News Strategy Room; internationally on BBC Radio and TV, NDTV/India, Dutch National TV, Saudi Arabia, Germany, Japan, France and Canada. David is a contributing editor to FamilySecurityMatters.org, American Solutions, and the fill-in host for Andrew Wilkow on SIRIUS Patriot 144 and XM America Right 166. 

Active in politics on the local and national level, David is the co-founder of Tea Party 365, Inc., a non-partisan, non-profit advocacy group for fiscal responsibility. He is also the co-founder of the Black Forum, Black Republican Forum and American Forum Series. He has consulted the Coalition For A Secure Drivers License and political campaigns from municipal to gubernatorial.

                                                        _____________________

_______Clinton___________________                                                                                    

                                                                                        _____________________

Living on a Prayer___________________

                                                       _____________________

Smells Like Teen Spirit_______________

                                                                                                                    _________________________

Top Gun_____________________________

                                                      ______________________

Titanic______________________________

                                                                                       ___________________

Michael Jackson______________________

                                                      ______________________

Garth Brooks________________________

I am so proud to announce that Team Mary and Team Robert t-shirts are for sale at the NotSoSoccerMom Online store at www.Cafepress.com/notsosoccermom

As you may know our dear friend Mr. Robert Barrett is battling colon cancer.  Please visit Robert’s Caringbridge page at www.CaringBridge.org/visit/RobertBarrettt

All proceeds from the “Team Robert”  t-shirts will go to the Robert L. Barrett Fund to help offset his medical costs.

The same holds true for sweet Mary Drake who’s at Arkansas Children’s Hospital in Little Rock after a very serious car accident on 11/22.

All proceeds from the “Team Mary” t-shirts will  go to the Mary Drake Hope Fund to help offset the Drake family’s medical care for Mary.

See  www.CaringBridge.org/visit/MaryDrake  for her full story.

Jill

Our Team thanks you for joining Team Mary & Team Robert. Your prayers are so appreciated.

My vacuum is broken

I have a hangnail

My postal carrier, Stacey, never brings any good mail

My scale, like the vacuum

seems to be broken, too

If that’s not the case, I’ll commit seppuku

While white and full of beauty

this dumb winter drones on

someone call me in June

when I can put my shorts on

Wait! Back to the scale

shorts aren’t such a plan

Maybe a nice muumuu-

 or a dotted caftan?

Dang, this old hangnail. I sure need a mani

My feet resemble (my old neighbor) Gary Cooper’s

Jeesh! Gross! It’s uncanny

Dusting, dishes, laundry

SO much to Do

Instead all day I sit here,

talking to YOU

This seems over the top,

Even I’ll admit that

But, Tigger our pet, is one flatulent cat!

 And you should just see Maggie and Allie Grace’s room!

What a mess. Such a mess. A real tragedy

Someone’s GOT to clean it. 

Girl, that someone ain’t ME!

Well, there you go. Hope my sad story didn’t make you tear

But no matter how bad my day sounds,

This is the line where I maturely resisted mentioning  beer.

(what? it rhymed!?)

Jill

I’m for Town Council on the platform that we could use a Resident Poet Laureate (ahem! Holla!)  and that we NEED a Starbucks in town.

Let’s dish more about the world of beauty.

Sit. Let’s reapply and chat…..                               

My beauty and skincare knowledge, while extensive, is just my opinion, cultivated by several years of hunting.  So, if I say, “that didn’t work for me”, that is not to say it might not be fab on you…. It’s just that MY expectations were to look EXACTLY like a blonde Cindy Crawford 2 minutes post-use. 

So, while I could type of the equivalent of War & Peace right now, let’s take it slow and start with some of the bigger beauty buzzwords and trends lately like….

Mineral Makeup: What is a mineral makeup and why do I hear about it all day, even overnight on infomercials?

A mineral makeup is simply a foundation or ‘base’ that is formulated into very fine particles and made of minerals. Of course Bare Minerals was the first to really go big (that Leslie woman is a marketing genius) but every company, from Wet-n-Wild to Laura Mercier makes one these days.  Mineral makeups can be worn by anyone, but are best suited for people with sensitive and/or normal to oily skin. I personally have DRY skin and I have tried upwards of 35 companies’s minerals.  True!  They are different than a powder foundation in that they have more coverage and can, if skin is prepped correctly, be very great on people with even dry sin.

MMU’s can be applied with a chisel or flat brush, kabuki or loose powder brush, for MOST to LEAST coverage (in that order).

Chisel or Flat brush.  www.purminerals.com

Purminerals is also available in some Dillards now and at Ulta.com

 Kabuki brush are the short, stubby ones.  This one gets great reviews.  www.CatCosmetics.com  Bobbi Brown makes a glorious one, too.

The Bare Minerals kit comes with a loose or powder brush. Remember a loose brush is going to give you less coverage.

~~~~Let me take a minute to discuss Bare Minerals specifically since they are the biggest, most publicized mineral makeup on the block.    The kit was the thing that really made this great.  Notice most things do come in kits these days, from the Chaz Dean Wen Haircare to Philosophy’s microdermabrasion?     The BM kit comes with 2 powder foundations (of 2 closely related but different shades), a Mineral Veil (a setting powder) and their bronzer called Warmth (which REALLY does rule. It reminds me of the Rubiglo clay pot back in the day. I feel everyone could wear this shade Warmth).

Bare Minerals kits are the #1 selling SKU at Sephoras. Probably cuz so many women have seen this on tv and think:  “What, I can get customizable coverage that is hydrating and GOOD for my skin with a powder?”  I have never been in a Sephora when someone didn’t come in and ask the consultants about it. Literally.  Bare Minerals for me was not great  becausee I am a MORE IS MORE person and when I went for one more layer, this one made my pores look big.  Luckily, they figured this out and have now formulated Bare Minerals Matte formulation which is quite good. 

Mineral Makeup is a great concept but is a trial and error deal.  Some of my favorites over the years include:

* Lancome’s: this is new. It is finely milled (meaning tiny tiny flecks instead of clumps), has a great color palette, lovely coverage. It is neither shiny (think  “Luminous finish” or Matte).

* SheerCover:  Leeza Gibbons and her cute hair.  This kit is avail on TV and in Bed, Bath & Beyond.  You can pick what  shade choices- Lt/Med or Med/ Dark. Most people are Lt/Med.  Inside is 3 different actual tubs of the mineral foundation in slightly different shade choices.  Also inside is the world’s best concealer (OR… the best one that works for me).  The brushes aren’t great but who cares.  It no longer comes with it’s version of Warmth (remember that’s Bare Mineral’s Bronzer) and that stinks cuz it was really pretty.

* Laura Mercier: Found now in all big dept stores and Sephora.  Good color choices, good product.

* PurMinerals: a pressed mineral makeup.  Again, in a kit. Comes with the chisel brush. 

* Jane Iredale: you see this one in lots of plastic surgeons offices. This is wise of the plastics folks to recommend a mineral makeup for people who are post-op on face procedures. She has the MOST extensive color palette of them all. She also has a rocking- I mean it is opaque- could probably cover a tatoo – concealer.  This is pricey. If you buy any of Jane Iredale’s things from a medi-spa or Dr.’s office, there’s a good chance you can’t take it back so try it on there, wear it home and then come back for it. Sometimes they have teensy sample pots you can buy. Ask!

Most Mineral makeups are sold in a kit. Most are sold with a ‘finishing’ veil dust or powder to emmulate the first-to-market which was Mineral Veil by, you guessed it, Bare Minerals,  The finishing veil does help to set. Doesn’t seem like it would help adding a layer of powder to a layer of powder but ~ it does.  Bare Minerals even sells hydrating & tinted version of Mineral Veil.   Most have a brush. Sometimes the brushes are a good find, sometimes not. The way to tell if a brush is worth anything is if it sheds and, in my opinion, if it becomes more soft and supple after washing it.  My Bobbi Kabuki and Trish McEvoy bronzer brush do.

Finally: application:  I cannot stress enough: START AT THE OUTSIDE.  You do want to dunk whatever brush you chose into the product and then blow some off or as they say in the infomercial “Swirl, Tap and Buff”.  Then starting at the outside of your cheeks work your way in using small circular motions. Remember, the type of brush will alter the application so if you are 14 with beautiful skin, maybe use the large powder brush. If you are like me and need to cancel out years of sun damage (my mom is SOOO dead for not making me wear more sunscreen), I prefer the chisel brush.

What about the pressed minerals? Like PurMinerals?  —– the exact same, just formulated in pressed form and thus, less of a mess.

Jill

I am now taking questions on this or any other beauty related topics. I figure if you’ve read down this far, you MUST be as interested as me in all these groovy things!    Send any questions in!!!!

We here at the news desk of NotSoSoccerMom.com can confirm that there will be a press conference held at Noon Eastern Standard time by PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) to announce a major lawsuitagainst US Airways and Captain “Sully” Sullenbarger on behalf of the flock of birds killed by the planes engines in the now historic Miracle on the Hudson plane landing two weeks ago.  Fresh off the heels of their class action lawsuit against Taco Bell (YUM Foods) for ‘gross stereotyping of Chihuahuas and, moreover, all dogs of non-Caucasian origin’, PETA will employ several lawyers from the ACLU to represent the family and loved ones of each bird maimed by the plane’s cruel engine.

This suit comes at a nice time for the ACLU since it had just announced major cut-backs.  This will give them something to do until the next major election.   PETA Spokesperson Ben A. Loon will speak more at the press conference but did offer NotSoSoccerMom.com this exclusive info: “We cannot condone the saving of 154 human lives in exchange for the bloody death of 13 birds.  We feel this was purposeful on the part of CaptainSullenbarger and hold him and his crew and the entire corporation of US Airways at fault. Additionally, we think George W. Bush might have had a hand in this.”

Jill

Original NSSMom piece which ran on www.NotSoSoccerMom.com the week after Miracle on the Hudson..... :) 

http://notsosoccermom.com/?p=660

http://notsosoccermom.com/?p=852

  Quacker Factory Creator Jeanne Bice with Isaac Mizrahi.

1 Tony Horton (P90X) 8 Tony Little (mullet Gazelle) 5 The Late Billy Mays 4 Shamwow (!) Vince 3 Chuck Norris 6 Billy Blanks 7 Bare Mineral Woman Leslie 2 Dr.s Fields & Rodan of Proactive

CHAMPION

Jill

The NotSoSoccerMom first annual

SnakeOil PitchPerson Bracket of Cheese is brought to you by

"Udontneedit"- a new supplement brought to market by NotSoSoccerDad

 Jerry, AKA Captain TimeManagement.  Udontneedit is a proprietary

blend of St.John's Wort, aspirin, thyme & Unisom and gives off a

satiated feeling that discourages the user from feeling they NEED 

gimmicky products on EVERY infomercial they view.  

Hi, I'm Allie Grace and cooking in my total passion (today).  Yesterday I was a runner.  Last week I was a painter. 

 Daddy got me a Paula Deen Kids' Cookbook for Christmas and I am rockin it.  

Much like I rock all things.... 

I'm here to talk to you today about new service that I want to provide your family: Personal Chef.  I'll come to your home and cook the meals.  Think of the convenience, fun, AND... you can pay me in Cheetos, since times are tough.

Why, JUST yesterday, I made these cookies:

And then, for breakfast this morning, I found a recipe for a "strata". I had to improvise some of the ingredients....

Jill

Hi, It's me again. Allie Grace wandered off because the Brady Bunch episode where Jan wants to be better than Marsha was on and she decided to be a baton twirler. She's so over cooking now...Baton twirling is her life.

Anyways, I thought why not continue on with her entrepreneurial idea?!  

However,  I'm going to  use AG's  Fabulous Moist-Free Cookies & Ketchup-n-Ham-n-Cheese Vomit Strata a little differently....

The "I Promise I'd Rather Go Hungry Than Eat That" Diet~!!!!

Have this stuff shipped to your home and you are sure to lose at least 10lbs a week!!!!!!!!

Share:

By the numbers….

Time Spent thus far in Car, Plane or Airport= 23.5 hours

Lost Children =1 (This is huge win. Only one!? What are the odds? Plus, we found her. It was one of the louder ones.)

Lost Bags= 1

Meltdowns= 1 (See: Lost Bags)

Lost Pacifiers=  4

Total Pairs of Socks & Toothbrushes We are Traveling With for 6 People= 5

Ipods, Phones, Computers & Pairs of Uggs & Small Electronics We are Traveling With for 6 People= 20

Long Meaningful Naps & Sleeping In Enjoyed by Baby Patrick=  .5

Long Meaningful Naps &  Sleeping In Enjoyed by Mommy and Daddy=  6

Discussions Regarding Detroit Christmas Day tragedy, taxes & healthcare bill= 1 (Group Summary: Ben Nelson is a Cosmic Schmuck. Convo got boring since all agreed, so we moved on.)  See Below

Discussions Regarding What Time are the Dinner Reservations, Who’s Going to Call the Pizza Parlor & Where are So & So’s Uggs= 18

Jill

“Have you seen my Uggs? Yes, they are right by the 305 cords and chargers we brought for the 20+ small devices we travel with to provide us entertainment and information. I’ll bring them over after I use the community toothbrush…Hey, after we’re done watching one more YouTube clip, posting another blog & singing to our Ipods to ‘Fireflies’, maybe we should sit down and visit with the people we came 1250 miles to see? ”  :)

(my mom’s totally thinking of taking my new computer away…. As Charlton Heston said:”Out of my cold dead hands…”)

Most people want to be famous for money or notoriety.   The perks that  interest me are....

* A Personal Assistant/ Yes-Man:   "That is a pretty pink lipgloss you are wearing today, Ms. Jill. Tres fab!" , "I definitely think you should wear your black hat on Jimmy Fallon. People don't get the dirty black hat thing? They are soooo jealous of you, Ms. Jill",  "Yes, Ms. Jill, I would take GREAT joy in getting you a third Iced White Mocha today. No, I think they are pretty calorie-free. I read that somewhere...."

*Creative Control: When the feature film "NotSoSoccerMom: The Movie" is being cast, I'll pick able to choose who plays me, a toss-up between the always plucky, living-doll Kristin Chenoweth  

or the more serious Elizabeth Mitchell from the Santa Clause 3.    I like them both.....

Unfortunately--and probably because I will have stayed out till 3am the night before with the Merchant Ivory boys discussing a ‘Sound Of Music' follow-up project starring Allie Grace as a grown Gretl, I might be cranky the day we cast --and the person who is bothering and demotivating me lately will be played by=====   Kathy Bates.

Jill

I'm sure there are more reasons but I got to daydreaming trying to decide whether to do tuna tar-tar (over?)  or lamb pot stickers with a spicy mint chutney at the Book Launch Party atop the Hotel Gansevoort in NYC.  

Oh- and cuz I had to go change Patrick's diaper......

PLEASE tune in for the NotSoSoccerMom hour  Toginet.com.  Callers are appreciated & will never be made fun of (unless they disparage Cream-Cheese based appetizers). 

We'll have a BLAST talking about the really important stuff: 

*Does Bobbi Brown have a copyright infringement lawsuit against Laura Mercier for copying for iconic Shimmerbrick and calling it a Shimmerbloc? 

*Is Harry Reid KIDDING????????  

* Who has a harder job; Tiger Wood's publicist or Kim Kardashian's Spanx? 

*Does anyone ask more questions than Allie Grace?  "Do they? Do they? Do they?  Can I? Can I? Can I?"

*When will I ever find the time to film my fledgling Fitness Video- "Bitching About Taxes: The Aerobic Workout!"  ???