Book Proposal:

1) OVERVIEW:  (HOOK)   “Fueled by the promise of a Venti Iced White Chocolate mocha, carrying an 18month old in a plastic helmet  & vested in my usual black hat and work-out wear, I enter the Nieman Marcus in Short Hills, New Jersey to buy my husband, aka, Captain TimeManagement an anniversary gift.  That’s when the blue stroller, purchased  on a brisk walk in Spanish Harlem while my son’s cranium was being opened by a team of surgeons, finally breaks.  I curse Armando. “

How did Jill Hickey, born in Panama City, former resident of Nebraska, Missouri, Arkansas, Connecticut & New Jersey end up in THIS very moment???? And WHY is she calling her HUSBAND ‘Captain TimeManagement’ if the Anniversary is TODAY and she doesn’t have a gift purchased?

 2) ABOUT:  NOT a chick lit, Mom-fabulous,  or serious mom-blogger (Let me tell you about the best cure for diaper rash, couponing or baby-proofing tips )book.  This is a journey of one mom blogger, which began by when her husband’s promotion moved our family from the lovely, yet HOT South to Connecticut in 2005.  At the time we had 3 daughters and I had no knowledge of a blog.  But I called my Email Essays ‘Jill’s Blog.com” cuz I wanted to sound fabulous. And the list of recipients grew… and so did the storyline.   What IS a NotSoSoccerMom? Find out. Hopefully we all--- MOMS, Dads, Aunts, kids, whomever--- have a LITTLE “NotSoSoccerMom” in us.

Born in Panama City, Panama, Jill is a German/Irish looking Spanish speaking Midwesterner who claims the South (‘three kids born in Little Rock. Wooooo Pig’) who, after 6 years in CT and Jersey can maneuver 42^nd street driving and order a bagel with the best of them.   While having 4 kids, aged 13-2, she never misses a beat when it comes to observing life, commenting on it and putting her own special political/ sociological and humorous spin on it    What is David Sedaris & Erma Bombeck had a love-child?  Now that’s not going to happen for SEVERAL reasons but that’s who Jill likes to think of herself as related to literally……& literarily.

3)  Audience: Perfect Mom’s looking for Serious Parenting Advice May Not Go Looking For This Book… but they DO need to read this to get a look at the lighter side of life.   Jill’s audience, while seemingly, MomCentric is surprisingly diverse.   Men aged 20-70 will enjoy her political satires.  Moms , grandmas and aunts will enjoy the parenting stories. And anyone generally fun and fabulous who can admit they ARE fun and fabulous--- WITHOUT taking themselves too seriously relate as well.  Jill’s radio shows are listened to by 67 year old grandfathers, 35 year old mother’s of 3 & 26 year old gay men all at the same time!

4) “Like Books” / Same Genre:  I’d love to say The Savvy Auntie or If You Give a Mom a Martini---- since they are acquaintances & former radio show guests Melanie Notkin & Lyss Stern. But I hope this book compares more to a Dave Barry or David Sedaris book----with a loving, genuine autobiographical story of self-discovery entangled with regional differences, parenting stories we can all relate to, some political commentary & the not-in-vain (get it?) quest to keep ahold of ones’ youth and sense of self, while still being a parent.

5) Sample:

Time 

5/406

Wow.  I really didn't perceive I was gonna have time to write today, but here I am...  In addition to Cleaning and Errands to prepare for the arrival of my Parent's (known to the Blog community as Wayne and Julie Battenfield),  Jerry drops on me that I need to be home today to greet the latest NorthEast Connecticut chapter meeting of the United Nations. That would be the crew of 5 guys from Basement Systems who've come here to jackhammer the crud out a tiny pump room to fix the water leakage from the sump pump.  So, actually, I think, this will work well and force me to stay home and prepare for my company (side note: The Mall DID call. They were forming a Search Party.)  When Angel (pronounced on-Hell. I'm soo not kidding here) and crew arrive, we figure out that none of them speak English. 

Which is OK by your favorite Famous Internet Author because I get to practicar mi espanol and drum up business for my May Is National Cinco De Mayo awareness campaign.  I was even thinking about opening up a cold Corona to show my solidarity but remembered it was only 10:40. Even I have standards.  Anyway, they were really excited to hear about the Cinco De Mayo campaign.

They're here about 4.5 minutes when the "nick" into the GAS line... (another one of the joys of the Northeast, that Oh So Affordable Oil Heat).  When we find a way for him to tell me in his broken English and me to answer in my cruddy Spanish, we agree that we'd better shut things down, ya know, so we can NOT be asphyxiated or be blown higher than the Empire State Building. 

Soon, Mike from the Oil Company arrives.  He is the Safety Guy come to shut everything down.  Followed by another man from the Oil Company (he is the Fix It Guy) who OF COURSE, is not available due to some pressing Air Conditioner Training that they're all attending today.  Side Note: I'm guessing I won't be using my Air Conditioner here EVER since I'm still wearing my sweatshirt on May 4th and I'm mildly concerned about having no heat for in this house this evening.

Guy Number Two wears worried look that says "Like everything else here, this is NOT gonna be cheap."  No matter because Angel of Basement Systems will be signing a little Jill-Prepared statement before leaving claiming all responsibility.  Will let you know how my L.A. Law moment goes...But, I'm nice, of course, to the guys, because accidents happen and because these are my people.

In the midst of all this, the Elementary calls.    They want to know when I'm coming to pick up that book... You know, the hardback of Wet Dog which Allie Grace, age 7 had to have, signed by the author, after said author came to speak in her class.  "Well, I sent her to school with $25 yesterday? Why didn't she purchase the book then?"  Why?  Because with her $25, $16.99 of which was earmarked for Wet Dog, she purchased a GreenDay poster, a Hello Kitty plastic pencil case, five erasers and one comic book.  Sammy,age 4 and I hop up the school to purchase Signed Copy of Wet Dog which is now earmarked for beating Allie Grace.

NOW< This has all been happening while I'm supposed to be Cleaning and Doing to prepare for my parents to come and what do you think I'm doing????? Sitting here in front of this computer in the Green Sweatshirt and the Hat ( I DID put the spaceheater away). 

I guess the moral of the story is this:  If you're a betting person, which is a safer bet? Allie Grace to go to school with her check and actually get Wet Dog when there's a whole gym full of Pink, Plastic, CRAP????    OR Jill with a whole free day AT HOME earmarked for Cleaning and Doing to actually Clean and Do when there's the wonderful computer just right downstairs???? It's a draw.  

Better go check my swaps at MakeupAlley.com,  get a handful of Pringles and read a chapter or two of my book, Bump and Run by Mike Lupica.   I can mop the kitchen, go to the grocery store, do 3 loads of laundry, clean out the car and vacuum and prepare dinner for 7 at about 5:25. After all, they shouldn't be here till 6ish and that will give me time to spare to hang AG's poster and help arrange all her plastic pink crap.