Your Wife Wishes You Knew This: Top 3 Things

#1 Listen to the people you love. 

#2 Remember marriage and family are about redemption.

#3 Cherish your people today because we might not get tomorrow.

So, let’s take three stories and unwrap them like a surprise Valentine’s Day gift.


#1 Thing Your Wife Wishes You Knew: Listen, Please.

Your wife wants you to listen. I bet she keeps repeating and all you hear is, blah, blah, blah. Okay, maybe that’s just my house. 

Of course, I have my own little quirks. For instance, years ago our counselor told me David could not read my mind. But I keep practicing telepathy just to double check. Obviously, I’m an optimist. 

This past week, I conducted an experiment to verify my data. I was too tired to put away all the groceries, so I just stacked a pyramid of paper towels in the pantry. Hard to miss. On a stool right below where they are stored on a high shelf.

For several days, every time Dave walked by the pantry, I telepathed silently. David, put away the paper towels.

Paper Towel Pyramid

After a week, I added 6 more. Now the paper towel pyramid was taller than me. To be fair, creative projects tend to pile up in odd ways around our house randomly. 

Imagine my surprise when David popped out of the pantry with a question.

“Do you want me to do something with these paper towels?”

I always knew that man had superpowers he wasn’t utilizing! Not only does he telepathy, but he’s learned the art of asking a great question. 

(I wrote a whole chapter on how to change an argument back into a conversation with a good question. If you can’t understand why you and your wife argue so much, please read Chapter 15.)

#2 Thing Your Wife Wishes You Knew: Marriage is About Redemption.

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.” ~Colossians 3:16-17

Since we all know women who are bitter, I kept asking God why just the husband was given this command. Finally, He showed me bitterness is a headship issue. That’s why we see successful single moms put aside bitterness and choose gratitude. Consequently, their kids really flourish. 

If a single mom can make the choice to put aside bitterness as the head of her home, you sure can go home tonight and choose to thank your wife. Want a sweet Valentine’s Day surprise for your wife? Go home and redeem your wife’s heart by thanking her. What do I mean by redeeming her? Keep reading.

Redeemed from Bitterness

If you don’t think marriage is about redemption, just think about your in-laws. Don’t they REALLY need you in their family? Yes, whether they know it or not. Bringing together families in marriage is one way God reorders the universe every generation. 

Really, I think redemption is the whole point of every marriage. After all, every marriage starts with two sinners.

I really love this next story because my neighbor shared it with so much joy rather than bitterness. Her hubby redeemed her from her pain and potential bitterness. 

Years ago, my neighbor’s hubby noticed she was grieving and he asked her why.

Why are you so sad?

The answer seemed beyond his power to fix. She was sad because her 50th anniversary was approaching with her ex-husband. 

She realized they would never live long enough to celebrate 50 years themselves even though they were already well over 30 years. 

Her hubby, being a brilliant engineer, responded with pure genius. He started a new conversational adventure with a great question or two.

Could I celebrate your 50th anniversary with you? Could we just celebrate now instead of waiting?

When the day came, he dazzled her with all the romance a woman could imagine. Roses, a fancy dinner, candles, champagne, chocolate. He even wrote an original poem for the occasion.

She lit up with joy when she told me about it later.

(I wrote more about initiating, redeeming love in Chapter 8, but I closed the book with Herb and Margaret’s story in the epilogue.)

#3 Thing Your Wife Wishes You Knew: Cherish Me Now

In their retirement years, Bobbie and Ken Dance, spent most days together, often surrounded by friends. Our community is a brighter, better place for all the ways they brought people together around exceptional causes. Causes like Bethesda for excellent health care and TJC for college education.

Find the story of BOBBIE AND KEN'S LAST DATE and a prayer for marriage on my website.

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