If you’ve ever wondered what you could do to help put an end to ongoing self-segregation, just ask Stanley Cofer. (Pictured left with his wife, Christy.) Want a desegregated life for you and your family? With a dynamic family to back him up, Stanley isn’t letting man-made lines divide his relationships.

The Desegregated Life

“I’m not pro-black, I’m not pro-white. I’m just pro-human,” he laughs.

So, what does he say to folks who are uncomfortable with his willingness to talk about race issues in a way that spreads unity and grace? What about when white folks distrust his motives? What about when black folks label him as an Uncle Tom?

“I just try to get funny with it,” he chuckles. He’s heard it all, from friends of every pigment, “You’re not black or you’re not black enough.” He doesn’t take it personally.

Drawing Mixed Crowds and Respect of Others

At every community event, Stanley and the team at Empowerment Community Development seem to draw a mixed crowd. You name it, they show up. I’m talking folks from all walks of life, all ethnic backgrounds, all socio-economic groups, and all ages. With so many churches searching for ways to attract the younger generations, for instance, this is no small feat. What’s his secret? He took a minute and educated me on the power of relevance in an episode of Fireside Talk Radio we called Racial Unity: The Desegregated Life.

Wise Parents and Freedom

Stanley credits his parents with teaching him to value himself and respect others.

“They placed the word of God as the top authority. I never heard my parents downgrade a caucasian person, nor did they exalt their own race.”

He also thanks God for his wife Christy, whose openness matches his own. She makes it easier to accomplish God’s plan for their family to break down barriers to unity among God’s people.

“I don’t think I could have been more blessed with a better woman than Christy. She has always had my heartbeat.”

Living the Dream

Stanley strongly states that African Americans “need to quit living in the shadows. We’re not in the 50s and 60s (any) more. Are we going to live out the dream of Dr. Martin Luther King?”

He advises young parents of any race to keep “the Bible as the center of your life…. If Christ is the center, you can’t help but be an agent of love. You will see the world as God sees the world.”

In Racial Unity: the Empowered Community, Stanley explains how we can all make a difference.

Jesus Privilege

“I don’t believe in white privilege. I believe in Jesus privilege. There’s a God who loves us all. There’s a devil who hates us all.” he says, adding, “I just thank God for other friends we have. We are going to make the difference.”

To learn more about upcoming events or to make a donation, go to Empowerment Community Development or to the Tyler Chamber website.

One Other Personal Thought

For those of you, my dear readers, who understand my interest in post-abortive ministries, I want to mention that Christy and Stanley show up year after year at CARE events. CARE stands for Christ-centered Abortion Recovery and Education. Ever true to their hearts, Stanley and Christy speak openly about their concern that abortion among African American women is a growing heartbreak. As is often the case, the Cofers show up at many community-wide events even when others don’t. I just wanted to mention this because it means so much to me personally, along with my deepest thanks for their leadership.

May I pray for us?

Dear Father in heaven, You love Your children and rejoice in our variety. We are each unique because You intentionally made us to be so. What a blessing to come together in loving unity! Yet, how could we ever put aside our differences, our past hurts, our insecurities, and our prejudices without Your help. Help us now, O Lord, to be children who honor You by loving each other. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

We love to hear from you…

What ways have you found to cross over self-segregating lines? How has someone’s unexpected kindness blessed you this week? What do you wish we could try in our community?

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Click here to find more of Stanley’s amazing wisdom in podcasts.

Cathy Krafve, Texas Author, Columnist, Speaker, and Radio Host, focusing on fellowship in Christian Marriage and Family, invites your stories, ideas, and questions at CathyKrafve.com. Truth with a Texas Twang.