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Author and thought-leader SharRon Jamison joins Cathy Krafve on Fireside Talk Radio.

Business woman, author, speaker, blogger, minister, and a Friend Maker. Of course, that last one reveals my personal title for SharRon Jamison, not hers! Today, based near Atlanta, SharRon shares wisdom vulnerably as she travels the world spreading great ideas about how to create loving relationships.

Every day, women tackle lots of gut-wrenching responsibilities; we need to support each other. Clearly, even the most successful women commonly feel isolated, insecure, and anxious. Frequently, we hear these refrains as women share their stories with us at Camp Krafve.Fortunately, healthy friendships provide the security and encouragement we all need as we courageously take risks, seeking to reach our God-given potential.

Friend Maker Extraordinaire

Because SharRon epitomizes what it means to be a Friend Maker, a perfect antidote to the Mean Girl Syndrome, I asked her to expound on some of the great teaching I get via her blog.

“Relationships are so important to me. It took years for me to learn how to be a friend,” she says tenderly. Along the way, she noticed other women struggled, too.

“In fact, some women even shared they felt lonely and felt starved for companionship. They wanted and yearned for confidants; they missed connecting on a deep level. But, they also shared that they feel scared, overwhelmed and isolated because building friendships was so draining or filled with drama,” she shares on her website.

The Secret to Disagreeing Without Disconnecting

Naturally, true friendships require authenticity and honesty, right? But how? Surprisingly, one secret to true friendship includes learning to disagree without disconnecting.

All people hold a God-given purpose, according to SharRon. Contrary to our natural reactions, even the most seemingly disagreeable person may simply be extra-focused on their purpose. Therefore, keeping their purpose in mind can help us extend compassion and patience to all. Okay, to me patience seems like a big chore, especially when I’m having trouble imagining the other person’s purpose!

However, she reveals a powerful secret to becoming a Friend Maker: extending compassion and patience to ourselves, too. Especially when the world tells us to reject ourselves, we should embrace our own unique design, according to SharRon. Why? Because we’re one of a kind! I love what else she says about being unique!

Why Don’t We Trust Our Awesome Uniqueness?

“My father used to highlight the way that people are different. He always used to say you come into the world fully loaded with goodness, grace, and genius,” she remembers tenderly, adding specific details. Her dad believed God designed all people “with ideas to generate income and to have influence. You’re fully loaded with creativity that makes cash. He used to tell us we were a treasure chest of riches.” How encouraging!

In spite of her encouraging, wonderful parents, SharRon knows exactly what she’s talking about when it comes to underestimating her own worth. The child of a Methodist minister, her father cut a wide swath when it came to pushing against injustice. (For how you can make a difference for social justice in your community, click on our articles about Trauma Informed Care.) Yet, even he could not protect her from the racial prejudices she experienced in a newly desegregated school.

Bullying in School

“I started school when integration was still new in Missouri. Even though integration may have been the law of the land it was not necessarily the love of the people,” she says now with gentle integrity.

As early as kindergarten, she suffered bullying, unintentionally from uninformed teachers and intentionally from kids. For instance, one teacher assumed SharRon was about to attack her, claiming SharRon moved too fast and scared her. In kindergarten! In another example, fellow students jumped her on the playground in second grade and gave her a concussion. (If your child is experiencing bullying, please listen to our podcasts with Tina Meier for great ideas.)Unfortunately, the threat of constant rejection at school, instilled in SharRon a deep need for companionship, even at a high cost.

“It (moving around a lot) made me yearn for being included,” she shares. “I started making friends the wrong way.” She describes her neediness and the pain of self-betrayal. “I started giving parts of my soul away to anyone who gave affirmation and attention.” (Find our entire conversation here.)

“It took awhile to get over bullying as a child because I started to bully myself as an adult,” she adds. Eventually, the solution was to embrace the truth of her father’s good wisdom; “to understand I was worthy.”

Freedom From the Inner Bully

Now she offers amazing training in easy to remember acronyms, like Relationship GPS (for training on how to build lasting relationships) and CIA (how to create healthy connections). Just to give you a taste for the kind of transferable, excellent material SharRon is creating, GPS stands for Goals, Passion, Struggles and CIA stands for Consistency, Intimacy, and Awareness. (May I encourage you to click here for more from this deep-thinking friend?)

“I was never part of the in crowd,”she says, “As an adult I see that my life was a perfect training ground to do what I do today.”

With enthusiasm, let me share a few of my favorite blogs from SharRon: Should We Be Friends? (This one has a long list of questions and you know how I love questions!), What type of love is that? Expensive or Valuable?, and Break Some Rules and Fix Your Life! Obviously, I could write tons more from our interview. Instead, let me close with a few more of her thoughts. (Find the entire interviews here.)

Unseen, Unknown, and Unheard

“In my coaching practice I always hear people say that they feel unseen, unknown, or unheard,” SharRon shares tenderly. Lovingly, she offers this freeing truth: “Our God-sized gifts never belong behind man-made gates. We were not made to fit because we’re one of a kind anyway!”

Wonderfully, when it comes to our individual differences – our own unique quirkiness – SharRon says, “We are wired to win if we just embrace all those things that the world tells us not to embrace. God made us to be this way.”

The world offers lots of foolish ways to judge ourselves and others; labels, stereotypes, norms, what’s considered pretty, and other societal standards, according to SharRon. So, when people see weird or quirky, she understands their dilemma. Obviously, our uniqueness means people have never seen somebody like us.

“Of course, they’ve never seen such a wonderful masterpiece!” she laughs.

Encouraged and Empowered

“We can love people to healing, we really can,” she assures us. “I believe when people feel they can be vulnerable, they can be honest even if they don’t know how to say something.” By creating room for authenticity in our relationships, we prove the worth of others.

“They can feel confident and courageous enough to say what they need to say. Even if they have to say it in a messy way,” she laughs. Of course, momentary messiness can be progress when authenticity results!

Happily, a few minutes with SharRon and I feel empowered to reach my own potential. Of course, I couldn’t wait to share her insight with you! Now, I hope you, too, feel encouraged and empowered by this remarkable lady’s wisdom.

Upcoming Adventures: Just Pinch Me!

Also, I’m truly excited to announce Cynthia Tobias will be a guest soon! (Click here for one of the videos she sends out regularly.) Since the 90s when my kids were little, this amazing thought leader’s training taught us to appreciate learning differences. (What an awesome example of claiming God-given potential early in life!) As a frequent guest on Focus on the Family over the years, inspiration and encouragement follow her around like cute puppies!

Then, Prayer Walking Guru Janet McHenry promised to show up for no telling what kind of inspiration, not to mention her trade-mark humor and down-to-earth attitude. Please, click here to get excited with me about this highly anticipated treat! I’m absolutely giddy about these two amazing and inspiring women!!

May we pray together?

Dear Father, at times, we all struggle, wondering if we fit the description of a worthy friend. Yet, You prove our worthiness because You love each one of us. May we live up to Your friendship by extending Your grace and compassion to others in bucket fulls! Teach us to love ourselves unconditionally. We want to live out proof of Your knack for creating unique Masterpieces! Let our hearts know our incredible worth to You, the Our Truest Friend. You love us unconditionally, with uninhibited delight. Through us, may Your joy extend to everyone we meet today. In Jesus’s name. Amen.

We love to hear from you!

What do you love about your best friend? How do your friends encourage you for today’s challenges? What one change did you make in your life to become a better friend?