Tea Time Anytime: Raising Confident Girls with Anna Krafve Pierce

Could raising confident girls be as easy as planning a tea time anytime? Yes! According to Anna enjoying a hot cup of tea with your daughter is one of the BEST ways to create confidence in her heart. And who doesn’t love any excuse for a hot beverage?

Tea Time Anytime: Raising Confident Girls   CathyKrafve.com

Anytime is the perfect time to serve tea and create memories!

Tea Time Anytime

As a mommy and a teacher, Anna stumbled over this tea-time-anytime truth recently as she observed the dynamics in her own home. This week, she joined me to share what she’s learning about teaching her young daughter to be comfortable in ALL social settings.


The Benefits of Tea Time Anytime

What a happy coincidence: to share something as fun as tea time and know in your heart you are simultaneously serving your daughter and her friends! 

“So many tea parties were a part of our pretend world,” laughs Anna, remembering happy pretend parties with her grandmothers, “By the time we graduated to having people over for tea or ice cream socials, where I was sitting at the table with my grandmother and her friends, it was a seamless transition. We had practiced with my stuffed animals!”

Undoubtedly, parenting doesn’t get any better than that! (To hear Anna’s story about her kindergarten teacher’s tea party, click on the above podcast.) Keep reading for Anna’s list of tea time benefits.

#1 Learning to Honor Others

Not only does tea time introduce young girls to the concept of polite conversation, according to Anna. Simultaneously, the rhythm of tea time helps little girls feel good about the way kind women engage with each other.

“We are a very casual culture and in a way that is a good thing,” Anna says, “The down side is our culture has forgotten how to ask polite questions, while respecting the other person’s perspective.” Fortunately, tea parties can teach your daughter to cross cultural lines with confidence because she feels good about herself and what she offers to a conversation, adds Anna.

#2 Sharing the Joy of Initiating Friendships

Sadly, all kids inevitably face rejection, especially at school. (For Anna’s thoughts about Back to School success, click here. For powerful information about bullying at school, click here or go to theMegan Meier Foundation.) However, the confidence they gain from practicing proper etiquette and learning to initiate healthy friendships can actually insulate your daughter’s heart. Recently, taking the initiative, Anna’s daughter invited her mommy, her brother and all her stuffed animals to tea time.

“She initiated it. It was an honest to goodness invitation, ‘Would you come to tea?’” laughs Anna. (For more insight on why initiating is important please listen to the full podcast above or look for more ideas here.)

“What was so cute is about half way through, her brother decides he wants to do the same thing. Because he had been invited, he wanted to try that out himself,” Anna adds. Spontaneously, he invited his sister and his mommy to go hunting.

As soon as tea time finished, the hunt began. Together, the children snuck around the house hunting the stuffed animals Anna quickly hid.

#3 Appreciating the Trust Produced by Good Manners

Surprisingly simple things like what to wear and when to bring a hostess gift can teach youngsters confidence about how to honor others.

“I was sitting at a tea party recently with my mother-in-law, my daughter, and my niece,” Anna shares, “My mother-in-law and I were both in our shiniest dresses because the girls had picked them out.” The words prom dresses might have come up in our conversation! Instinctively, the little girls felt so special, Anna reports.

“Grandy, please pass the cookies,” each girl said in her most elegant voice. Crystal and silver serving trays were arrayed in a dazzling menu, including rainbow colored marshmallows, squirt can whip cream, and peanut butter and jelly finger sandwiches.

“Everything was covered in sprinkles,” laughs Anna, adding “I was just doing it because it was fun and my niece was so excited. Until I sat there with my mother-in-law, I didn’t think through the fact that what we were doing was important not just fun!”

Learning a structure for honoring others builds a kind of confidence that comes from knowing society’s rules and being able to navigate them successfully. Rules are not to restrict people, but to free us so we can focus on what’s really important, other people.

#4 Uniting Women is Powerful

Anna makes a good case for the universal appeal of women gathered around a table together, enjoying a snack and a hot beverage. She says tea time experience at home trains our daughters to be comfortable with women anywhere in the world, simply because we recognize the ritual of tea time.

“I don’t remember ever sitting down at a table with women where I felt awkward, in lots of different contexts, in lots of different places and cultures,” Anna explains, almost reverently. “If I’m in a group of women, I feel pretty confident about how to be kind. Truthfully, the focus on how to be kind is definitely part of it.”

When you teach a kid how to be the hostess, Anna explains, you coach them on how to respect  the needs of others. Specifically, planning ahead to make everyone else comfortable, becoming alert to the relationship dynamics, learning to relax, and enjoy others develops deep confidence in a girls’ heart.

And I Thought Tea Time Was All About the Fun!

Honestly, I was astonished when Anna told me she thought tea time was a powerful tool for raising confident daughters. I just thought tea time was fun. (Anna shared more about how her grown up friends schedule tea time to get a break in their mommy jobs. To listen to our whole conversation, check out the above podcast or click here for more podcasts.)

Since everyone wants to raise confident girls, she had my undivided attention and I scheduled the show. Could confidence develop out of something as easy as hosting a tea party? Now I know.

Don’t forget: tea time is a great way for grandmothers to jump in and support the raising of confident girls. (In the above podcast, Anna honored the three generations of women in a beloved family we know. I hope you’ll listen in for how one family’s tea time tradition of is still impacting our family into the fourth generation.)

Raising Confident Boys? Oh my!

Consequently, this topic of how tea time can be a tool for raising confident daughters, got us thinking. How do we raise confident sons? Is there an activity that mommies can start early with their little boys? Fishing? Hiking? Sports? Hmm.…

The answer isn’t obvious to Anna and me. Therefore, we hope you’ll chime in with your thoughts. Soon we’d really like to do a show about raising confident boys. But we could really use your help. (To sign up for free weekly ideas about creating life-long companionship in your family, click here.)

Including Others

Certainly, the formality of tea party sets your sons up for success just like your daughters, if you can only get a son to sit still for a minute! Because she believes they make everyone feel more comfortable, Anna advocates enthusiastically for good manners. Of course, as much as she loves chatting over a cup of tea with other women, she thinks tea time is best when everyone feels included. 

“It’s a way of being inclusive. Just like my sweet little daughter set off a domino affect with her brother when she invited us.”

Many times, the formality of being specific about inviting others, honors guests by respecting their free will. For instance, asking for the honor of another person’s company means letting the other person decide. Then, they get to choose to accept or decline your invitation. Tea time is gracious in that way.

Whether your next team time gathering is formal or casual, Anna suggests kindness translates into easy confidence in your child’s heart.

May I pray for you?

Dear Good Father, You want the best for Your daughters just like we do. It’s hard to imagine being so loved by You. Yet, each day You send tender, gentle proof of Your love in the chirping of a bird, the caress of a pet, or the comfort of a good friend. Today, O Lord, grant us Your favor as we try to instill wholeheartedness into the spirit of our daughters and granddaughters. Surround us trustworthy women who can comfort and strengthen our hearts as we pour out love on our families. In Jesus’s name. Amen.

We love to hear from you!

What is your favorite treat to serve with tea? (Yes, and feel free to send us recipes, dear one!) When have you been invited to tea and what made the invitation special? What is your favorite childhood memory of playing tea party?

Cathy Krafve, Columnist, Speaker, Blogger, Podcaster, and Christian Writer, invites your stories, ideas, and questions at CathyKrafve.com. Truth with a Texas Twang.

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