When women get a quiet moment to contemplate, it's a miracle! When we finally carve out a minute, we ponder what's going well and what's unraveling. We look up and look for wisdom. Other creative men and women have amazing ideas we can make our own.

For Truth with a Texas Twang, join Fireside Talk Radio, the show where women ponder the things we store in our hearts.
Host Cathy Krafve invites experts to share their personal stories and talk openly about all the things women care about. How to create life-long companionship? Dealing with mental illness in our families? Bullying at our kiddos school? No topic is too tough. All women have things we want to know about creating tender fellowship, but are afraid to ask. You name it, we talk about it.

Thank you for downloading our shows and sharing them with your friends. Whatever else you do today - whether you are on your recumbent bike, walking your neighborhood, or traveling - thank you for joining us.

When women courageously talk about the tough stuff, we call that a conversational adventure! No taboos here. No dumb questions either. Your comments and input for future episodes are joyfully welcomed at CathyKrafve.com.

Fireside Talk Radio, where Truth and Twang meet. Join us for our next conversation adventure!

Imagine my joy when Jon Drury offered some insight on what men feel. He even offers examples of how guys' feelings of weakness might look to the rest of us. Jon is the author of one of my favorite books lately, Lord, I Feel So Small, Using God’s Yardstick to Conquer Self-Doubt.

When it comes to men, most women are like those actors on T.V. pretending to be a doctor. Sure, we may live with a hubby, raise sons, and study a boss’s vision. Truthfully though, most of the time, we’re only acting like we understand men. Sometimes, we forget that men battle for significance, too. Guys feel insecure? No way! 

The Battle for Significance

“What do you do with feelings of inadequacy?” Jon asks. Then, he immediately offers inspiration gleaned from his own personal search for significance, “God says He created us with weakness. God has provision for turning weakness into strength. It (acknowledging the truth about our feelings) can be a starting point for letting God strengthen us.”

Fr a video of Jon talking about significance, go to: https://youtu.be/ErCeEa06Vkc 

Successful Men Can Feel In Insignificant

I met Jon accidentally when I sat at his table at a writers conference, taking a chair intended for those who had been waiting in line for a chance to talk to him. Oops! I quickly discovered that he is not only a gentleman with a big heart, but he’s my favorite kind of human: real. By real, I mean, he confidently tells the truth about his own frailties and feelings of vulnerability. (We immediately taped the above video because I knew I wanted him to come on Fireside Talk Radio.)

Pilot and Pastor

Jon served in Vietnam as a pilot and pastored 40 years. He is a devoted husband and family man. Plus, he’s a leader among West coast writers. What in the world could this successful man possible know about feeling insignificant? Surprisingly, Jon shares that feelings of insignificance are common among successful men of any background.

What Wives Can Do

Jon shared a bunch of stuff about how wives can recognize when negative emotions may be short-circuiting their husbands when he came on Fireside Talk Radio.He offered practical ways women can encourage and pray for all the men in their lives.

2 Tips for Cultivating Significance

According to Jon, two things will help men the most when it comes to getting a grip on their sense of significance: 

1) Diffuse The Lies.“The Lord had to take me to the scriptures to find and discover the truth,” he says. Sadly, I don’t have space here, but Jon extensively and specifically lists lies men believe on our podcasts. Wow! Great stuff! Please check those out at Fireside Talk Radio.

2) Find Men Friends. “Certainly, if guys can find and bond with other guys that will help,” he says. In his book, available on Amazon.com, he goes into depth about the fear that can keep men isolated. 

Finally, I want to thank Jon for sharing so openly. Who would ever believe successful men often feel insecure or afraid or weak? Yet, many successful guys fight to remember the truth about their own God-given significance. The battle is real. Jon's insight is invaluable for all of us who love the guys in our life and want to encourage them.

May I pray for you?

Dear Perfect Father, we exalt You in Your goodness and mercy. We are so thankful that in wisdom You created us to be human and not perfect little demi-gods. Every one feels insecure and insignificant sometimes. We see that our enemy the devil wants to lie to us. He tells us we are of no value, just garbage with no purpose. And yet, we believe You, not him. Teach us to depend on You for truth. Together we rejoice knowing You value each of us and have a purpose for our lives. Help us strengthen each other for the battle. May we value humility and allow You to transform our weakness into a demonstration of Your strength. Honor the men in our lives with Your richest blessings. We pray in Jesus' name. Amen.

We love to hear from you...

What words encouraged you when you most needed it? What lies seem to be most pernicious? Could you share a story with us about a time when a friendship strengthened you?

You can sign up for my Newsletter by clicking here.

Cathy Krafve, Texas Author, Columnist, Speaker, and Radio Host, focusing on fellowship in Marriage, Family, and Community, invites your stories, ideas, and questions at CathyKrafve.com. Truth with a Texas Twang.

But what about girls? Our heart breaks at the way girls are often treated these days. Sadly, young women may not realize they are worthy of first-rate treatment. Don’t young girls need healthy male role models, too?

Single mothers often worry about how to find a father figure for their sons. If you read my stuff, you know I constantly pass along the great ideas I get from my reading and listening friends. For instance, I just wrote to dispel some of the myth around mentoring in Man Guide to Proverb 31. Anybody can mentor, according to my friend Tony Johnson, especially with a little foresight.

Girls Need Healthy Male Role Models, too

Okay, but, girls need healthy male role models, too. Yet, that seems really tricky to me.

Tony wrote the book, Me & My Boys, My Experience with Mentoring, to encourage others to take the plunge. Since he’s a gifted story-teller, the book is a quick read. Every page has drama. But still, as I read Tony’s book about the success of mentoring young men, I had my question: What about girls? Girls need healthy male role models, too, I kept thinking.

Obvious Problem with Men Mentoring Girls

We all know even the most trustworthy man puts his reputation in jeopardy when he tries to help a young lady. Are there any solutions? Fortunately for us, Tony touched on this very issue with insight and practical experience in a recent episode of Fireside Talk Radio.

Practical, Safe, Time-effective Solutions

In fact, impacting young men to treat young ladies respectfully is high on Tony’s list of outcomes. Naturally, he had lots of ideas about how to accomplish mentoring for young ladies right alongside the young men he’s mentoring. Talk about multi-tasking. Tony knows how to make an hour of mentoring go a long, long way!

A Family Atmosphere

Because mentoring appointments often happen at lunch in the school cafeteria, Tony makes a point of frequently teaming up with a female mentor and her female student.

“You create a family atmosphere. Both kids are being helped.”

While together in a “family” setting, Tony finds ways to encourage the young lady by asking the kind of questions a father would typically ask, based on any input the mentors may have from her mother.

Correct, But Never Embarrassing

Tony also shared details about how to phrase corrections without embarrassing young people. “That’s not appropriate,” he finds himself saying when young people need direction. “You apologize to her” is another way to hold young men accountable to treat young ladies respectfully.

In fact, young people translate accountability as love because they recognize that families who love their children set boundaries, according to Tony. He says progress for many kids is astounding.

Fried Pies and Other Good Stuff

“My grandmother used to fix fried pies,” he chuckles, adding sometimes the pies burned or looked funny, but it didn’t matter to him. “I couldn’t care less what they looked like because I knew the best part was inside. The best part of these kids is beneath the crust.”

Mentoring Made Easy

If you want to change the life of a child by mentoring, you can contact the local school district or check out The Mentoring Alliance. You’ll love what Mentoring Alliance does in our county to help kids. Or, start by reading Tony’s book.

May I pray for you?

Dear Father, Genesis tells us that You made mankind in your image, both male and female. While we may not understand it fully, we do recognize that men and women both have important things to offer our children. Help us, O Lord, to treat other respectfully. Teach us to value each other in ways that make You happy. You love all Your children, we know that. Bless, especially, those brave single parents who are loving their kids in a double portion. Keep our kids safe, we pray. Provide what we need today. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

We love to hear from you…

What insight have you observed when working with the young ladies at your church or school? Any experiences you could offer to provide insight for those wishing to mentor? Would you share your favorite mentoring story with us?

You can sign up for my Newsletter by clicking here.

Chris Legg recently came on Fireside Talk Radio and shared his best life hacks for fathers. 

Defining Fatherhood

We all have ideas about fatherhood. How would you define fatherhood? About comforting? Protecting? Providing?

Naturally, given that it’s Chris, there’s nothing standard about his definition of fatherhood.

Discipleship You Can’t Escape

“All parenting is discipleship; it’s just discipleship you can’t escape, you or the kids,” he laughs, acknowledging how much energy it takes to parent. He emphasized the most important thing for dads to know is simple: “The Christian family is the ultimate expression of community. My first ministry is with and to my wife.”

Family Ministry. What?!

But, minister is such a church-y word. What does that even mean? “To serve, to tend, to care for,” says Chris, even as he acknowledges that heartbreaks happen in marriage and family.

Yep, Chris may be a scholar (he has a wall in his office, floor to ceiling, of bite-and-chew books to prove it), but his wisdom is practical and earthy. Every conversation with him is fast-paced and fun.

A Wake Up Call Around the Threat of Suicide

He began ministering almost accidentally as a youth leader in a Baptist church in Crocket, Texas. Chris was so young, he grew a beard so folks would know he wasn’t one of the kids. The young people used to climb in his window, rather than come through the front doors.

One night, a young man saw Chris’s office light on and knocked on his window. He told Chris he was thinking of suicide. Since it was the 80s, no one was talking about mental health yet. Feeling unprepared to handle such a crisis, Chris listened and encouraged.

Life Hacks for Fathers

Today, Chris is a founding member of Alethia Counseling Center where they still listen, helping folks uncover truth and live in freedom. Also, he pastors South Spring Church. For fathers, he offers two quick hacks for parenting well:

1) Be a world-class husband.

2) Use the special dad platform.

The Dad Platform?

Everyone in social media knows that a platform is the combined ways we get messages out over the internet. But, what in in the world is a dad platform?

“Dads tend to speak identity very powerfully,” Chris says, explaining “platform” as the way dad’s words impact their kid’s hearts. For example, telling your children “you’re proud of them simply because you get to be their dad” equips them to be successful and strong in life, according to Chris.

A Powerful Weapon

Chris went on to compare a father’s words to the sharp World War II saber he likes to show other men. Like a precision weapon, a dad’s words can target their children’s power to stand strong when life gets tough. Or, a dad’s words can leave lasting pain. Therefore, Chris exhorts fathers to choose their words carefully.

Example of Good Words for a Son

As an example of “God modeling for us being a good dad,” Chris offers Matthew 3:17, “And suddenly a voice came from heaven, saying, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.” (Thanks to BibleGateway.com for the New King James Version reference.)

“Insider Trading” and Much More

On our Fireside Talk Radio podcasts, Chris offers much more to strengthen men and encourage the women who love them. Imagine, he even called our podcasts “insider trading” because of the great tips we love sharing! He promised to come back soon and talk about sex on air, so stay tuned for more adventures (if by adventure, you mean great life hacks!).

Find Chris

You can find more from Chris on zillions of topics at South Spring Baptist Church or on his personal website ChrisMLegg.com, where he offers a whole “phalanx” of stuff for guys. Don’t forget, too, there’s always Sunday mornings at South Spring.

Happy Father’s Day

In the summer months, we are focusing on men. Partly because women always like to talk about men. But, also kinda accidentally because a bunch of great men came on Fireside Talk Radio. Thank you for reading our stuff and for tuning into our podcasts.

Most of all, thanks, for helping us get the word out about good ideas. For instance, like our friend Jon Drury, who addresses the way men embrace significance in his book, Lord, I Feel So Small. Jon will be on an upcoming episode. I can hardly wait for you to hear the great stuff he shares!

Half the time, we don’t know what to expect, but we see God at work. Therefore, we’re really happy to be traveling this road with you.

Finally, for all the great dads out there tenderly ministering to families, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Keep up the good work! 

May I pray for you?

Dear heavenly Father, You love us as we are just because a good father loves His kids unconditionally. We turn to You now. We live in a culture desperately needing what good men have to offer. Many people disappoint and hurt us, sometimes even our own fathers. Good men may easily feel insecure and inadequate when the job is so important. We pray now for Your mercy, O Good Father. Teach us to forgive each other as You forgive us, even when we need to forgive ourselves. Strengthen men to be sons and fathers that are a blessing to those they love. Allow fathers to use their platform to speak strengthening truth into the hearts of their children. Provide healing and support where we hurt. Have mercy on us and love us tenderly, we pray. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

We love to hear from you!

How has your dad blessed you? Do you have life hacks that would strengthen men? What’s the best thing your children’s father ever said to them?

You can sign up for my Blog/Newsletter by clicking here.

At first, Tony Johnson didn’t think he was qualified to mentor. How does any  busy leader find time? Perhaps, it was his family’s wealth of love that prompts him to advocate for mentoring now.

Rich in Love

Tony likes to say his family didn’t think of themselves as poor because they had what they needed, even if they didn’t have all the fanciest stuff. One of eight kids, he credits his parents with setting an example he’s proud to follow to this day.

The Influence of Good Men

“I’ll tell you what we did have, two loving parents. We were in church on Sundays. We were taught to love each other, take care of each other, be there for each other.” Now, as a family, church, and civic leader, Tony Johnson sets the bar on how good men can impact the lives of everyone around them.

One of my favorite things about Tony is he’s a deacon in his church, Corinth Baptist, alongside his dad, T.J. Johnson, who’s been an elder forever. Okay, maybe not that long, but close. I have to be careful not to joke too much here because, well, I’m a little in awe of Brother Johnson, the elder. He has a stern, yet loving look that he’s perfected on his kids and grandkids. Even I sit still in church if he looks my way. I’m just sayin’ Tony got some good training on fatherhood from Brother Johnson, the elder.

Pain Does NOT Respect Race, Creed, Color, or Status

“As a mentor, I have come to realize that our young boys and young men want and need a father figure in their lives. Contrary to many beliefs, the youth of today actually want someone to guide them, to teach them, train them, and discipline them, but most of all…they want someone to love them!” he says in his new book, “We have to realize that hurt and loneliness know no race, creed, color, or economic status.”

Qualified to Mentor

Tony was an accidental mentor. He felt unqualified because his time was limited. What could he accomplish in the life of a child with only an hour to spare each week? His book, Me & My Boys, tells the story of how he was affected by the boys he mentored first. He asked many of the same questions we all have about mentoring. Mainly, how in the world could he work one more thing into his already busy schedule? But, anyone who knows Tony also knows he can’t say no when the district’s schools need him.

Almost before he knew it, Tony was pulled into a new mentoring program and the rest is, ahem, a history lesson. Not only is he a big proponent of mentoring youths in our school systems now, but he’s gone on to bring the successful program to neighboring districts. Plus, he wrote his book to put to rest the fears of other potential volunteers.

Drama, Action, Stories

Ever the story-teller and accomplished public speaker, Tony zips through the drama of finding out his boys needed him. He highlights ways anyone could earn the respect and cooperation of kids who’ve been labeled as “problems.” He recounts the joys of seeing young men become successful in school and life. He’s such a great teacher (and writer), you won’t even know you’re learning.

This gifted leader, with a successful career in management and past presidencies in multiple organizations, trembled the first time he went to meet “his boys.” On a recent episode of Fireside Talk Radio, he drew on his agricultural roots to express his enthusiasm, extolling the virtue of tending young lives.

Planting a Seed

“It’s like planting a seed. That’s when they need the most nourishment,” says, Tony, explaining how much an hour a week can mean in the heart of a young person, “As a mentor or father, you have to be the one to nourish that. Otherwise someone else will.”

Wouldn’t it be a miracle if a generation of good men were raised up due in a large part to mentoring? If you want to plant some seeds of your own, you can order Tony’s book, Me and My Boys, to pass along to friends.

If you are interested in mentoring, please contact the local school district. They are always looking for volunteers. I also like Mentoring Alliance for the work they do with Boys and Girls Clubs in our area. Blessings on you for considering the way your hour might impact the life of a child forever.

May I pray for you?

Dear Father, we are so grateful for the way You care for us even when others let us down. You give us strength and encouragement in the tender concern of strangers sometimes, if we will but notice Your care. Our hearts break for youngsters who need extra attention. We consider the kind of work their parents do and we yearn to help. Often single mothers or fathers feel forgotten. Teach us, O Lord, to see and respect those who feel overlooked and overwhelmed. We all need a kind word of encouragement some days. Help us reach out to each other for the help we need. Strengthen those whose heart says yes. Help us all carve out the time to engage with those around us. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

We love to hear from you!

Who made a difference in your life when you were a kid? What’s the kindest thing a stranger ever said to you? What unexpected blessing did you receive when you reached out to encourage a young person?

You can sign up for my Newsletter by clicking here.

Sonogram and diagnosis are not two words any of us want to hear in the same sentence.

How do you handle the fear that comes with a sonogram diagnosis? Katie Butts knew her child had “limb differences” before she knew he was a son. Even before she knew the right lingo for limb differences, she and her husband determined to celebrate the arrival of this child they loved already while he was in her womb.

Now their family fields honest questions from curious kids with joy and humor. Of course, kids have questions. All moms know this truth.

“Will’s blades have flames on them, so we’re not exactly subtle,” she laughs. Blades are fancy prosthetic legs that athletes use. Her active, joyful son puts them to good use.

Change of Plans, Change of Prayers

“My mom will tell you it was an answer to prayer for her because, standing outside our room, she heard laughter. Of course, that was after the epidural,” Katie laughs.

Katie posted a sign on the hospital door warning people not to offer sympathy. “This is a baby we’re celebrating,” the message went.

A Second Sonogram Diagnosis 

With their doctors’ assurance that the condition was not genetic, they prepared for the birth of a beautiful second baby, only to be told that she, too, had unrelated medical conditions.

“She does not have limb differences. They’ve never been able to find links between their conditions.”

The Power of Celebrating

With hearts filled with gratitude for their adorable children, over ten years later, their family is still celebrating. She handles their family’s differences with unity and humor.

With experience that includes children’s hospitals, diagnosis, surgeries, travel, appointments, and insurance, how does this busy mom find energy to encourage other moms? “I’m a professional napper,” she claims.   

You might assume that their double surprises would overwhelm and discourage their family, but nothing could be farther from the truth. Instead, their two beautiful, active children find ways to connect with others in all walks of life. They both do so with their own unique brand of graciousness.

“If its Will, he’ll usually challenge them to a race and beat them,” she says of her son’s ability to start a friendship in almost any setting. Ellie’s approach is less dramatic, but every bit as loving.

Oh, the Stories!

Katie shared some hilarious stories in a recent broadcast of Fireside Talk Radio. Like the lady at the airport who scolded her harshly for putting her baby in a bag upside down before realizing it was just two baby prosthetic legs. Oh my!

Mainly, though, Katie shares great advice for all moms. She names beloved women who came to comfort her when she was on the floor vomiting with grief. She counsels all moms to seek out women who understand their journey.

Community and Companionship for All

“We allowed people to come into our sorrow and heartache and our celebration. Let people in,” she says, adding, “They’ll carry you when you can’t stand up.”

Katie may know the world of children’s hospitals, a world most of us never want to know. In the process, though, her family epitomizes the daily decision to celebrate life with joy.

Happy Mother’s Day to you, dear reading friend, with joy to all.

May I pray for you?

Dear Good Father, who knows our every need and loves us: When life surprises us with the unexpected, we can find ourselves hurting. We want to isolate and lick our wounds, even turning away from You. We often find it hard to imagine how You can turn sorrow into joy in our present circumstances. Give us patience and stamina, O Lord, as we trust You today. Teach us to laugh and find joy in the unlikely places. Surround us with companions who hold us up. Fill our heart with gratitude as we mirror the Savior in our suffering. In His name, we pray. Amen.

We love to hear from you…

Have people stepped up at the just the right moment in your parenting journey? How were unexpected needs met? When crisis hits, how do you find comfort?